Archive - February, 2014

Belonging & Desire

Though brief, the Song of Solomon could be described as one of the world’s earliest romance novels. It’s detailed descriptions of affection between two lovers is enough to make even a grown man blush.

Verse 10 of chapter 7 offers a beautiful summary statement that captures the heart and essence of romance… “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”

Solomon 7:10

We find within this single sentence two essential components of romantic love: the blessing of belonging and the delight of desire.

Blessing of Belonging

Every human being longs to belong. This is all the more true in romantic relationships.

It’s why a teenage girl graffitis his name on her school folder. It’s why a young man gives up his hard-earned letterman jacket to be draped over her small shoulders. (Is this still a thing?) It’s why we change a relationship status on social media sites. It’s the underlying reason behind promise/engagement/wedding rings.

All of these say to the world, “I belong. I am accepted.”

When the woman says, “I am my beloved’s,” this is the implication. She is experiencing the blessing of belonging… the assurance and comfort of having been sought after, found and wanted. She has found the security of his love.

Delight of Desire

All desire has direction… our desires move us. They take us towards something or someone. Desire compels us toward action.

Just like belonging, every person wants to be wanted. They want to be the object of desire.

The woman tells us that her man has a desire and that “his desire is for me.” What a statement!

He wants something, he longs for something, and it is her. She is the object of his affection. She is the object for which his desire is being directed and is confident in his love for her. Life without her would be no life at all. “I am what he wants.”

Belonging and desire are beneficial to all relationships, but they are must-haves for lovers. If a person doesn’t feel accepted or wanted, you can forget about any resemblance of romance. With them, you have the makings of an epic love story.

How would you evaluate these in your own relationship? Does your partner have the security of belonging? Do they feel like the object of your desire? What can you begin doing today to improve in both of these areas?